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The Burdick Awards

All agree that Jim Gerth lost none of his timing when he created and MC'd the first annual Burdick Awards. For those who want to laugh again we offer the text here. Grab a beverage and enjoy!

Nominations limited to events occurring at Theater adelphi between 1973 and 1977. Prizes for winners in all categories have no cash value.

Best Entrance

Jim Shimer as Puck

Linnette Antonucci  in BERLIN TO BROADWAY as “Jenny"

Martha Heenan as The Girl on The Swing in THE GALA

Kimberly Welch at 8:09am into her 8am class

And for Best Entrance, the winner is…!

Linette Antonucci! for entering Jacques’ Freshman year class, post hall, late, as she clicked her Carmen Miranda shoes confidently across the floor. Even Jacques was speechless.

Best Exit

The Entire 8am movement class out the front of Post Hall at 8:10am as Kim was entering from the parking lot at 8:11

Dave Caras, playing God in THE GALA and skipping off the stage.

The other 20 or so from the class of 77 that didn't make it to senior year.

And for Best Exit, the winner is…!

Bob Slote for being the first of the 20 (not counting the 3 we lost on day one).

Best Death Scene

Norton Owen down the stairs in LULU

And for Best Death Scene, the winner is…!

The Majority of the class of 1976, 77 and 78 in the Dutchess of Malfi

Best Comic Moment

Dutchess of Malfi  With 87% of the department dead on the stage floor, having just killed each other in the last 5 minutes of the play, Jim Gerth enters looks around and says, very dramatically, “Oh Sad Disaster.” It brought the house down every night.

1976, When Jim Gerth smoothly asked her out on a date, Denise Welborn stepped back, pointed at him, and laughed uncontrollably.

And for Best Comic Moment, the winner is…!

Bill Lamb as the Devil in THE PLAYE OF ADAM.  When Dave, as God, fell off the stage, Bill was laughing so hard and kept laughing and could not stop laughing doubled over center stage. Laughing. Every time he stopped and would start to say his line, more laughing.

Best Dramatic Moment

Marie Miller every time a poem was read that involved a death or love lost

Stefan Fitterman playing Sarah Bernhardt in THE GALA

And for Best Dramatic Moment, the winner is…!

Jim King’s entire performance in ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOOS NEST.

Best Scenery Chewing

Bara Swain in THE CONGRESSWOMEN even when she wasn’t speaking or even the focus of the scene.

Bill Baker for every time the box office receipts were under or over the audit stubs total, which was every day the box office was opened.

And for Best Scenery Chewing, the winner is…!

Stefan Fitterman playing Sarah Bernhardt in THE GALA

Best Special Effect

Revolving change of scenery in the MADWOMAN OF CHAILLOT

Getting an “A” in Dee Dee Unger’s ballet class

Nancy Lushington for her butt so high off the ground, every time you put your hand around her waist, you copped a feel.

Fred Penzel looking like a Technical Director

And for Best Special Effect, the winner is…!

Stefan Fitterman playing Sarah Bernhardt in THE GALA!

Best Costume

In The Congresswomen Teri Diabilda and Deb Geninger doing a pastie covered belly dance.

Jim Gerth’s dirty underwear in Peer Gynt

Unitards in the "William Blake" opera

Jill Saret for her ridiculous (yet appropriate, for an Irish prostitute) costume in THE HOSTAGE

Stefan Fitterman as Sarah Bernhardt in THE GALA

Scottie Davis in THREE PENNY OPERA as the street walker

Leslie K. for her perfect butt that looked great in everything she wore and still does today.

And for Best Costume, the winner is…!

Brad Burns for his costume as the orderly in ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOOS NEST. (Brad urinated in his orderly pants every night on stage, feeling that would be "in character.")

Best Type Casting

Hugh Scully as McMurphy in “Coocoo’s Nest”

Jim Gerth in Peer Gynt (the masturbation scene!)

And for Best Type Casting, the winner is…!

Stefan Fitterman playing Sarah Bernhardt in THE GALA

Best Catch Phase by a Faculty Member

“Throwing the baby out with bath water” Joel Harvey

“Good Morning” Bill Maloney (voice teacher)

"PICK IT UP, PEOPLE" Jacques Burdick

Marie Miller for “You’re an American, you’re an American. You’re not, you’re not!”

And the winner is…!

Jacques Burdick  for “Bahfff!”

Best Punch Line

Foggy, foggy day. A jumbo jet flies over the Adelphi guide path at tree top level. John Kudan says “Wow! That’s lower than it’s ever been before!” Charlie Valenza says, “No, John, they go all the way to the ground.”

And the winner is…!

Dave Caras, irate, yet cool, is building a lawsuit for 23 dollars against the Long Island Rail Road. He has a broken fuel line in his car from a loose piece of asphalt, where LLRR are working on the tracks. Dave and I are taking pictures of the one guy digging a hole and the six guys watching him dig. With implied threat, they ask “What’s with the pictures?”

Dave replies smilingly, “We’re college students, and in our geology class, we’re studying different types of holes. I have pictures of natural holes, and now, I need pictures of a man made hole!”
“What’s the name of the class?” the Head Grunt grunts. Dave says “Holography” to blank heads nodding with recognition.
But pointing to the 3 city blocks 3 stories deep hole that would become The Garden City Plaza, a grunt queries “What about that?” Dave immediately: “Oh no! That’s graduate work."

Best Way to Make Marie Miller Cry

Trip over a diphthong

Read a Shakespeare sonnet to the background of the Grateful Dead’s “Weather report suite” from their “Wake of the Flood” album.

Rehearse a scene with real liquor

And for Best Way to Make Marie Miller Cry, the winner is…!

Asked to do a Blanch Dubois monolog, she stares up at the florescent lights to make the tears flow

Hardest Theater Adelphi Thing to Do

At 8am, with a hangover, Kimberly Welsh body swings

Graham exercises

Find the actual beat in Bill Burdick’s music

And for Hardest Theater Adelphi Thing to Do, the winner is…!

The first twenty-five minutes of PEER GYNT

Easiest Theater Adelphi Thing to Do

At 8am, with a hangover, faking Kimberly Welsh body swings

Our “Happenings” assignment, junior year in Jacques’ class

Sleep around in the theatre department

And for the Easiest Theater Adelphi Thing to Do, the winner is…!

Stefan Fitterman playing Sarah Bernhardt in THE GALA

Most Memorable Moment in a Play

In “The Congresswomen” Nameer El Kadi (or was that Naseer?) and Jim Barracca taking a dump on stage

Mazz forgetting to pre-set Gretchen’s fan in LADY WINDEMERE’S FAN.

Gretchen Walz performance in LADY WINDEMERE’S FAN, especially how brilliantly she did it without the fan.

(from John Kudan: I realized I made a mistake with the nomination---- Gretchen did a 'cover' the likes of which I have not seen since. But It was not LADY WINDEMERE’S FAN. The play was LONDON CALLING, as Marie called it, but was based on THE CONSTANT WIFE---- Obviously the prop was not a fan----But I remember it was an important prop.

Scotty Davis for "Looks like trouble ahead, Dick!!!”

Stefan Fitterman playing Sarah Bernhardt in THE GALA

Jim Shimer, HOT L BALTIMORE as the old lobby curmudgeon ,actually reads War and Peace only during his stage time in rehearsals or performance. More than once the book compelled him to loose track of the pace of the scene and he would think he missed a cue. And worse, he was usually reading so he could not recognize the dialogue that he searched for some clue as to where we were in the play.

And for Most Memorable Moment in a Play, the winner is…!

Dress rehearsal for THE CONGRESSWOMEN. The sterno torches really catch on fire and puddles of burning sterno are dropped about the stage. Jamie Sequin runs down the aisle yelling: “Girls! Girls! Watch the chiffon!”

Most Memorable Moment in a Classroom

Ballet class: DeeDee Unger’s flamboyant chain smoking.

Andy Bleiberg emerging from the closet and answering one of Nick's questions in his 8 AM class - 25 minutes after the class started.

Class of 77 is sitting on the floor, holding ankles, Bill Burdick enters, sits and instead of “and One” he says: “Ya know, years ago, my drinking buddy and I were horribly hung over, could barely stand, and we are introduced to the choreographer who was going to audition us, that day, for roles in the next seasons ballet. Well, we were terrible the first couple of times across the floor. My friend disappeared into the dressing room for a couple of minutes, came back and started sailing around the room, practically flying and was cast as the principle dancer. I asked him how he was able to do that, and he told me: “I just put some Ben Gay on my dick and I took off.” “And One, Two, Three…”

Jimbo Shimer swaying happily in his old vic skirt.

And for Most Memorable Moment in a Classroom, the winner is…!

Bill Burdick. After months of asking us imagine squeezing a silver dollar with our butt cheeks. One morning he demands “Squeeze! Squeeze! …….Make change!”

Best Petron Moment

There are countless hundreds of great Nick moments, however, since we were mostly stoned in Nick’s class, none of us could recall

Inviting as a show biz motivational speaker, Leo Shul, the editor of SHOW BUSINESS, who told us that many Americans love the theater, Abe Lincoln loved the theater. And we would make more money if we were strippers.

Naming the cabarets:    –“Shall I wrap it to go or will you eat it here?” – “Nobody doesn’t like Salary or waiting for the dough!” – “Keep Your Pantheon” and –“Did you know that dyke had a hole in it?”

Teaching us NY survival tips like: when walking home from the theater late at night, if you feel in danger: act crazy like a homeless person and throw up or pee on yourself. (it was nice to have options)

And the winner is…!

We rushed to Nick’s office when we discovered that Kim Welsh was in the hospital for a lower G. I. Series. We asked “What did they find?” Nick replied “ Editor's Note: This response is inappropriate for a family Web site. To learn the answer

Best Jacques Moment

Playing “cup” with him in the cafeteria

First thing, first day freshman year writing on the board “There is no Democracy in theater”

A freshman is called into Jacques office after a teacher demands the student’s dismissal. Jacques recalls to the student, “Well,… Kimberly said …that you said …that she was full of …bullshit. So I told her …‘Well, Kimberly,… you ARE!”

Starring in ’77 in a mime performance with Scottie Davis and Jim Gerth

And for Best Jacques Moment, the winner is…!

Putting the imaginary lint ball back where he got it from on the chalk ledge after playing with it for 2 hrs and 45 min.


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